Clam Chowder To Texas BBQ
Dear Liping: My friend recently moved from San Francisco to Texas to go to college. Do you have any tips on how to become accustomed to living in the South? Sincerely,
-Melissa Not From Texas
Hi Melissa. Let me keep it real; I've never been to the South.
I've been to SoCal, and South America but not the south of the U.S.A. I do know a little bit about the Southern culture, because I have a southern friend on Facebook.
Like the foodies in San Francisco, people in the South love their food. Texans love their BBQ, and when you say BBQ, it is assumed that you're saying Texas BBQ. Not Kansas, not Mississippi, but Texas BBQ.
If you're a vegetarian or specially vegan, you might as well do yourself a favor and break that environmentally and animal friendly way of living.
Being a vegan in Texas is like being someone in San Francisco looking for affordable rent-- You just don't belong there.
But if you do like eating flesh from a corpse of a dead animal, Texas is the perfect place for you.
With the combination of Latin influence and Southern comfort food, Texas is the foreground to authentic culinary experiences. Succulent, slow roasted BBQ meat candy to tacos and carnitas spiced to perfection, Texas is the SF Foodie's second home.
Listen, I can't even fathom having to go outside my house at 70°F. The thought of having to go to school, work and also date in over 90°F weather makes me sweat.
You will get used to the heat in a couple of weeks, but you never get used to sunburn or skin cancer. Make sure you buy some good sunscreen and always have a pair of shades with you.
Don't get the spray kind, because you don't really want to spray your face with sunscreen. The Neutrogena Ultra Sheer brand is my choice, and 70 SPF is a must.
Texas is a red state, not because everyone is probably sun burnt, but because is a primarily conservative republican state.
Coming from San Francisco, which is pretty far left in the political spectrum, it can be a little jarring when it comes to political climate transitions.
While there are pockets of left leaning people in Austin and near universities, Texas is red, red, red! They're for less government, and more for the traditional roots of the U.S. People in the South love who they are and where they've come from!
I don't really have anything funny to say about politics because I'm not Jon Stewart and I don't have a bunch of writers working for me. I know, you couldn't tell right?
I'm a Chinese guy from San Francisco, so I'll just be assuming what the dating world will be like in Texas.
I would assume southern guys are very charming with their accents, but when I do my Texas accents I'm insensitive...
A typical Texas Tinder date would start at a gun range, duh! Southerners love their guns, and that's also the best place for a before dinner activity. Your date can "teach" you how to hold a gun properly, while also showing you his guns if you know what I mean!
Also, if the date isn't going so well, you can always shoot yourself in the foot to end the date. No more obvious awkwardly making an excuse to leave for the "bathroom." But you will have to leave for the ER.
Moving to a new place is difficult, but you're still you.
While you might be struggling or thriving getting used to the Southern culture, always remember that being southern is just one part of your identity. Heck, it doesn't have to be a big part of your identity at all.
You're a multi-faceted individual, and while loving BBQ and guns might be a part of who you are, it's definitely not the whole shebang. Get it? Guns? She-bang?
Ask Liping is a column where readers send Liping Huang questions that just need some real talk answers. Send in your questions by emailing your question, name and where you're from to firstname.lastname@example.org.
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