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Struggles and Fighting in Relationships

Struggles and Fighting in Relationships

"Boujour, big fan of your blog. My boyfriend Victor and I have been on a really difficult cycle recently. We would argue over the smallest things that would evolve and end with someone leaving the apartment. But then a day later one of us would just come back like nothing ever happened. I don't want to start the conversation, but at the same time I want this relationship to continue." 

-Mary, from France

Hi Mary, thank you for "emailing" me. You're also not a pseudonym for my cousin who is in the exact same scenario. I love your people's food!

Okay Mary, let me ask you a question. Is it worth it? Is his D that good? I think in this scenario, like in most problems in life, a good solid handful of communication will fix this messy situation.

You need to sit Victor in your Parisian sofa and have a genuine talk about what is going on with both of you guys. Is the fighting part of the dynamic? Or is it a pattern of how you guys are just not for each other.

It's hard investing so much time on someone and realizing it might have to come to an end. But girl, there's plenty fish in the sea. So maybe go on a seafood date with your boyfriend and break it off. There are tons of other dudes out there, and sure French guys (and girls) smell, but at least you won't be arguing every day over trivial things.

But if you're really into this rekindling thing, you guys need to think of a way to identify the triggers of an argument and beat it to the punch.

So instead of arguing, throw each other to the bed and grind it out. After a mutual big O, there's no way you guys are going to still be mad about who drank all that fancy wine that was gonna be gifted to Joanna. 

If the fighting still continues, you need to cut if off. You need to surround yourself with positive energy to fully grow as a human being, and being around all that arguing and fighting only drags you down. 

You might be able to be friends with benefits if you guys play your cards right. So you got that good D and there's no more fighting. Who says this blog is pointless? 

Ask Liping is a column where readers send Liping Huang questions that just need some real talk answers. Send in your questions by emailing your question, name and where you're from to lipingblogs@gmail.com.

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